Learning to Heal
by AisforAWKWARD
Summary: Fitz lost a part of himself when he saved Simmons. Now he has to learn to move on. WARNING enough sweetness to rot your teeth and spoilers for finale.


**Okay, this is my fill for the Beta Branch Fic Swap challenge. I cowrote it with Alex Kade, so give her page a look if you like what you see (she wrote the first half). Also, if you want to know what the Beta Branch is or if you're interested in joining, shoot me a PM and I'll give you the info.**

**Summary: Fitz tries to cope in the aftermath of what happened**

**Rating: K**

Warnings: none except spoilers for season finale

He supposed it could've been worse.

Fitz snorted. Supposed? Of course it could've been worse! By all accounts he should've been dead! What could possibly be worse than being dead?

Well, a number of things, really, but that wasn't the point. The point was that he wasn't dead, and that he knew who he was and who the President was, and that he could still do math in his head better than every math professor in the history of the public eductional system combined, and that he still remembered his friends and his family and his desire to one day own a monkey.

What he didn't remember was how he had broken his arm. He didn't remember Ward ejecting them from the BUS. He had no idea what happened while he and Simmons had been trapped in a box at the bottom of the sea. He couldn't wrap his head around the horrible things that everyone kept insisting were true. He really couldn't believe the things they said about him, that he'd been a hero, that he'd nearly sacrificed himself for Simmons.

Not that he wouldn't, but still, he simply wasn't that guy. He wasn't brave like that. In fact, he was a complete coward most of the time. None of what they said about him could've been true. They probably just made it all up to make him feel better about the other thing that he lost, the part that he couldn't get back any more than he could retrieve those short term memories.

It's only half, he reminded himself. Right. Only half of his entire perspective of the world...which wasn't even exactly true because there was a definite overlap in the range of sight and sound that a human could pick up on each side of his head, so really he shouldn't even have been that upset about it. It really could've been much worse. He could've gone totally blind and totally deaf and then where would he be? Certainly not still working for S.H.I.E.L.D.

Was it even still called that? He was still confused on that whole end of the puzzle, too...

He shook his head in an attempt to focus, but that only served in making him dizzy. Ah yes, yet another side effect he was still recuperating from. Sudden movements still gave him a bit of vertigo, but that would go away soon enough. The other thing, though? Not being able to see or hear anything on his right side? That was something he would be stuck with forever, half his senses having fallen victim to the death of part of his valuable brain, all of which needed to be mourned properly.

Well, that was what he was doing, then – mourning. He was certainly not wallowing in self pity like everybody else seemed to think. He was merely learning to accept the loss of a vital part of himself. He deserved that right, didn't he? He just needed a little time, that's all. He'd come out of his room. Eventually. He just needed a little more time.

Suddenly, he heard a knock on his door accompanied by a familiar, sweet voice.

"Fitz, could you open the door, please?"

Jemma.

Fitz groaned into his pillow. He really didn't feel like talking at the moment, but at the same time he knew he could never turn down Simmons. Careful not to jostle his broken arm too much, he slowly dragged himself out of bed and opened the door.

"Hello, Jemma," he greeted.

"How are you feeling today? If you're still a bit nauseous I can get you-"

"Jemma, I'm fine," Fitz assured. Simmons nodded.

"Well, the whole team is getting together to watch a movie. Why don't you come?" she asked.

The engineer sighed, "I don't think it's a good idea."

"Fitz, you've hardly spoken to anyone since you woke up. I realize you're upset about what happened, but you don't have to deal with this alone. The team is here for you, and so am I. After all, who carried my books to class everyday for three weeks when I sprained my wrist?"

"I did," Fitz muttered.

"And who was willing to drop everything and leave the comfort of the lab to follow my dream of seeing the world?"

"I did."

"And who stuck by me every minute when I was infected by that bloody alien virus?"

Fitz winced at the painful memory, but answered, "I did."

"Exactly. And whether you choose to believe it or not, you were willing to sacrifice yourself to save my life when we were trapped in that blasted box. You have always been there for me no matter what the circumstance, so let me be there for you. You're the best friend I've ever had, Fitz," Simmons said, taking his good hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

Fitz felt all of his resolve melt away as soon she touched him. He knew she was right. She always was.

He sighed, "I guess a movie couldn't hurt." Simmons's face lit up.

"Come on, then. The others will be so pleased!" she said with a huge smile on her face. Fitz felt the corners of his mouth turn upwards as she excitedly led him through the halls of the base. When they finally reached the room with the others, Fitz was greeted enthusiastically by his team (even May smiled at him!). He had to admit he liked the sense of normality being with everyone brought him. The fact that Ward wasn't there saddened him, but Triplett seemed nice even though Fitz didn't remember a lot about him.

When it came time to choose a movie, they decided on _Sharknado_. Throughout the film, Fitz found himself laughing with the others about the absurdity of what was occurring. He hadn't laughed that hard –or at all, for that matter– in a long time. And to think that if Simmons hadn't convinced him to come, he'd still be in his room trying to deal with his loss by himself. He silently vowed to thank her later. He thought he just needed time to heal, but maybe he needed his friends too.


End file.
